Sunday, August 09, 2009

Top 10 Penis Names Based on Marvel Superheroes



All superheroes are phalluses, only some are more phallic than others. Some penises have names. Some don't. Regardless, it just so happens that many superhero names also make perfect penis names. Some names work differently than others (Invisible Girl, Puny Banner), others work eerily well. What follows is a scientific survey.

The Top Ten

10. Iron Man (alternate: Shellhead)
9. Black Panther
8. The Thing
7. The Human Torch
6. Mr. Fantastic (alternate: Stretcho)
5. General Thunderbolt Ross
4. Doc Samson
3. Mjolnir
2. Cyclops (alternate: Scott Summers)
1. Jarvis

avengers 201 cover jarvis penis polish hammer

This is just such a great cover, with the penis-like Jarvis brandishing a vacuum cleaner, Thor polishing his hammer, the red-faced and rock-hard Vision rears up above all, and The Beast crouching at crotch level with a knowing look in his eye: the cover fairly screams, "This comic is about penises!"

(Spider-Man villains also make great penis names, with The Vulture being a shoe-in for #1.)

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Chat Noir Now Open


Update: Yes, my project for the last few months has been the opening of a new store in downtown Guelph. I am proud to say all the hard work has paid off and Chat Noir is now open. Located at 32A Wilson St, in Guelph, just around the corner from Meow!, Chat Noir is a vintage decor and antiques -slash- furniture and giftware store. Kara and I are very proud and quite enthused about the new endeavor. Perhaps the best thing, from a comics perspective, is that, as with Meow!, internationally-renowned cartoonist Seth designed our logo and sign. Thanks Seth!

Thanks to everyone for being patient. Hopefully, regular blogging will soon resume.